Redneck Southern Dictionary

1)    HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting

2)    HIRE YEW - Complete sentence.  Remainder of greeting.  Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

3)    BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow".  Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

4)    JAWJUH - (noun) - the state north of Florida.  Capitol is Lanner. Usage:  "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to

5)    BAMMER - (noun) - the state west of Jawjuh.  Capitol is Berminhayam. Usage:  "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvments."  (Correction:  Capitol is Montgomery - thanks, G. MacCrone!)

6)    MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar dvision. Usage:  "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

7)    THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.  Usage:  "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

8)    BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops and yeast. Usage:  "Ah thank ah'll have a nutter bare."

9)    IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart.  See "Arkansas native".  Usage: "Them Bammer boys shore are ignert!"

10)    RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.  Usage:  "Ah thank ah left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

11)    ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage:  "Ah shore hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

12)    FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.  Usage:  "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far."

13)    TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage:  "Gee, ah hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

14)    TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.  Usage:  "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah shore do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

15)    RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.  Usage:  "My grampaw retard at age 65."

16)    FAT - (noun and verb) - A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.  Usage:  "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup yuh."

17)    RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.  Usage:  "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

18)    CHEER - (adverb) - In this place.  Usage:  "Jest set that bare rat cheer."

19)    FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.  Usage:  "I cuddin't unnerstan a wurd he sed... mus be from some farn country."

20)    DID - (adjective) - Not alive.  Usage:  "He's did, Jim."

21)    ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.  Usage: "He cain't breath ... give 'im some are!"

22)    BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.  Usage:  "Boy, stay away from that there bob war fence."

23)    JEW HERE - (pronoun and verb) - Contraction.  Usage:  "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?

24)    HAZE - (pronoun and verb) - A contraction.  Usage:  "Is Bubba smart? Nah...haze ignert.  He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

25)    SEED - (verb) - Past tense of "to see".  Usage:  "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City."

26)    VIEW - (verb and pronoun) - Contraction.  Usage:  "Ah ain't never seed Noo Yawk City ... view?"

27)    GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution.  Usage:  "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

28)    FIXIN' - (verb) - Preparing to.  Usage:  "Ah's just fixin' to do that now."


29) JEETJET (complete sentence)  - Did you eat yet?

30) YONTEW (complete sentence) - Do you want to?

31) TWIRLY-TWEET (complete sentence) - Too early to eat.

NEW ADDITION (2/16/06):

32) TRAMPOLINE - (noun) - A bed that you can't get in trouble for jumping on.

NEW ADDITION (5/31/06):

33) WRENCH OFF (verb) - what you do instead of taking a shower.  Usage: "Let me go wrench off before we go out tonight."